HERE I AM LORD, AGAIN~~I AM STRUGGLING WITH FORGIVENESS. WHEN WAS IT YOU FORGAVE ME? WAS IT WHEN I CRIED OUT, WHEN I SAW MY NEED? NO, INSIDE I KNOW IT WAS AT CALVARY. BUT WHEN IS IT WE TRULY CAN FORGIVE OTHERS?
I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES, WRONG CHOICES, WAS JUST AN OUTRIGHT SINNER...EVEN TODAY WHEN THE ACCUSER SPEAKS...MUCH OF IT IS TRUTH AND SOME IS DISTORTED MEMORIES, YET TRUTH TO THE ACCUSER. MANY YEARS I'VE ASKED FORGIVENESS, SAID HOW SORRY I AM THAT MY CHOICES EFFECTED OTHERS, YET AFTER TWENTY-FOUR YEARS...STILL ONE CANNOT FORGIVE OR FORGET. I'VE EVEN SAID, "SON, LETS JUST START FROM TODAY...I WANT THE BEST FOR YOU." BUT IN TIMES OF CONVERSATION, THE ANGER IS STILL THERE TO THE POINT OF PROVOKING ANGER WITHIN ME. I'VE DONE ALL I KNOW TO DO.
THANK YOU, LORD, FOR SUCH PATIENCE WITH SUCH A ONE AS ME, NOT WORTHY TO SPEAK YOUR NAME...YET BY FAITH KNOWING YOU HAVE FORGIVEN ALL MY WRONG DOINGS. I KNOW YOU LOVE ME BUT SOMETIMES I WANT TO RUN AWAY FROM EVERYTHING!! I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO THE PIT I FOUND MYSELF IN A NUMBER OF YEARS AGO. I PLACE IT ALL IN YOUR HANDS CAUSE I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. I HURT WITHIN, I'VE GIVEN OF MYSELF, I MUST ACCEPT THINGS THE WAY THEY ARE...UNTIL YOU CHANGE THE SITUATION.
I LOVE YOU AND WILL SUBMIT.
Dear one; I feel your heart. The enemy of our souls wants nothing more than to discredit the work of the cross in our lives.
ReplyDeleteJust the other day...I found myself thinking back to things the Lord has forgiven me for, years ago...but suddenly I found myself remembering as though it was yesterday...I had a misunderstanding with my oldest daughter (our personalities for now seem to rub and irritate each other) the more I try to make peace and love her...the more she feels I'm insincere...She yelled, "why can't you love?"
It nearly broke my heart...and I was taken into that same whirlwind of self condemnation..."You know you can't love, why do you even try...You're not real...and everyone knows it."...
But the same Lord that walked on the stormy sea...called out to me, and gives me the choice of stepping out of my safety zone and trusting Him...
Will He catch me when I fall?...I'll never know unless I believe in His forgiveness and the faithfulness of it...how could I want it for anyone else...unless I know it for myself?
Beloved one; His love never fails...you know that...He wants to use you to let your loved ones see how powerful His love is in supplying you with a quiet and peaceable presence before them...
Our days may bring us pain...Oh Lord let it be the decerning of our heart, of your heart...give us the same spirit of interceeding faith for our loved ones, as you have for us Lord....
Yes, we submit ourselves and those we love to you...we surrender to the workmanship of your hands Lord...We accept your will and way...Amen
Thank you so much my Good Friend~~
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